Here’s what a typical female response sounds like….
“I’m not sure, but I think…”
“Perhaps we could try this way…”
“Maybe the reason this didn’t work is…”
“It’s sort of like…”
“I’m not 100% sure.”
“Don’t quote me on this, but…”
“I don’t know.”
This is So. Frustrating. What is going on? What’s the problem? No one really knows because you’re not definitive in your answers. You sound unsure of yourself, which makes others unsure of your abilities and capabilities.
Switch these statements for something like this:
“We need to do this…”
“We should have integrated this system…”
“The project was successful because….”
“The project failed because of these three reasons….”
When you speak you must project confidence, and self-assurance. Don’t attach qualifiers to the start of your sentences. They distract from your overall point.
Women do this in order to cushion their responses so they don’t sound so “opinionated” or “aggressive” or “bitchy”. Women even use this type of passive language so that they can’t commit to an answer jusssssst in case they’re wrong. Because we’re constantly afraid of being wrong, of being called out for our wrong answers. Because, because, because….of our perfectionism obsession.
We must break out of the idea that we have all the answers all the time. We don’t, and neither does anyone else. But using these weak qualifiers makes us look weak! Own your statements, own your failures, and own your successes.