If I hear one more woman say “I’m just lucky I got this job,” or “It’s just sheer luck that I got this raise,” or “It’s total luck that I got into graduate school,” I will kick them! I swear I will.
Ladies, listen to me. Stop attributing your hard work, your skills, your talents and results to something so nebulous and external as “luck.”
Ever hear a man say it was just luck that landed him a new client, raised profits or managed a crisis? No! They never do.
Because women externalize success and men internalize it.
Meaning, mean attribute success to something within themselves. Research consistently shows that men attribute their success to their inborn talents and skills. While, women always want to mention “the team effort,” or the collegiality aspect. It makes me want to throw up.
Who do you think gets the top leadership positions? The people who constantly reference ‘luck’ and ‘chance’ and how “lucky” they are to be where they are? OR, the people who own their success, the ones that confidently state their accomplishments and their talents?
You must stop acting grateful for the position or jobs you’re in, and start promoting yourself, start acting like you deserve to be there. The first step is by removing the word “luck” from your vocabulary.
Next time you’re hanging out with your friends, make a note of how often women use the word “luck” or “lucky” to describe their current job or position in life. Now that you’re aware of the problem, you’ll start to hear it everywhere, ALL the time.
Next time one of your friends says they’re “lucky” interrupt the dialogue by asking them why they need to externalize their success. Ask them if they’ve ever heard a man claim it was all luck.
It may seem like such a small innocuous thing, but it’s not. It’s part of a larger, more systemic problem with women and the internalization of failure, and the overwhelming amount of fear women have about going out of their comfort zone. If we’re constantly attributing our success to something external, and not linking success directly to whom we are, and what we’re capable of, then we’ll continue to live in the comfort zone of mediocrity. We’ll continue to not reach for things, not ask for raises or promotions, because it was only “luck” that got us here, right?