Career Growth, Trending Discussions

When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Ever have the best of intentions only to completely fail?  Yup, we’ve all been there. The only thing that matters after you’ve failed at something is your reaction to the failure.

Have you internalized it? Do you feel badly about yourself? Do you berate yourself, (e.g. “I’m such an idiot. I’m useless. I don’t deserve this job/this relationship/this promotion,” etc.)

OK, you messed up. You didn’t stay on track, you fell behind or maybe you even procrastinated. Maybe life got in your way; maybe you’re dealing with messy family stuff, relationship chaos, financial problems, transportation issues, parental expectations, or cultural issues. Whatever it is, you must NOT INTERNALIZE YOUR FAILURES.

You must take immediate action on your mistake. Get moving again. Don’t wallow. Don’t pity yourself (OK, give yourself a 10 minute pity party.) Cry it out. Then MOVE ON.

There is no shame in failing. There is no shame in making mistakes. The only true shame should come from not learning from your failures.


Be Honest with yourself. Why did the mistake happen?

Ask for critical feedback/support. Do you have a mentor you can speak with? Speak with supportive friends, family members or a partner. Join a Social club. Talk to these people and be open to receiving their honest feedback.

ACT NOW. Stop thinking about your mistake and start acting on changing the results.

Believe in yourself. You must internalize the belief that you can survive your mistakes and thrive. Women tend to behave in ways that are identical to how they see themselves. You think you’re worthless; you’ll behave that way too. You think you’re not smart, you won’t make smart decisions. You think you ARE your mistakes, then every time you fail it’ll just be another confirmation that you suck.

Stop badmouthing yourself! –Be mindful of the negative voice that’s on constant replay in your mind. Tell this voice to get lost!

Every little step matters! – Celebrate the small victories. Did you finish a project on time? OK job well done! The small steps count, because they get you closer and closer to achieving your ultimate vision.