Empower Yourself, Trending Discussions

Stop Ruminating & Start Reframing

Women ruminate. You ruminate, I ruminate. WE THINK too much and too often about our mistakes and failures. We let them play in our minds endlessly for hours and days, and sometimes even years.

We let our mistakes hold us back from stretching out of our comfort zone again and taking risks.

Ruminate: “to go over in the mind repeatedly and often casually or slowly” (Merriam-Webster dictionary)

The more you time you spend thinking and over-thinking your mistakes the easier it is for you to postpone, delay and even avoid taking further risks. The more you ruminate, the further away you get from fulfilling your potential.

Stop obsessing over your mistakes and start obsessing over fulfilling your potential.

Why waste more time worrying about your mistakes and failures than you would spend creating more opportunities for success?  This makes no sense ladies!


You must act deliberately and REFRAME your thinking. You must consciously interrupt the negative script in your head. Every time you hear yourself ruminating. STOP. Take a breath.

Remove your emotions from the analysis. You need to objectively analyze why you failed without any emotions. Pretend you’re analyzing this failure for a colleague. (For some odd reason, we’re kinder to our colleagues and friends than we are to ourselves).

Practice, practice, practice. Just like bettering your public speaking or writing skills takes time, so does reframing that negative voice in your head. You have to practice at increasing your emotional resilience. Be kind to yourself, if you’ve been thinking like this your whole life, you won’t dismantle these internal barriers overnight. Practice.

Change your scenery: When you fail and you can’t stop thinking about it, change your environment. Go for a walk or a run. Grab an over-priced tea or coffee at Starbucks. Go to the bookstore and browse through the aisles. Try meditating, or yoga. Do something else, something different to get your mind off the ruminating spiral.