Empower Yourself, Trending Discussions

The Annoying Ways Women Ask Questions

When a woman asks a question during class/workshops, or in meetings at work, it usually sounds like this:

“I’m sorry if you’ve already mentioned this, but…”

“This is probably going to sound stupid, but…”

“Sorry if someone has said this, but…”

“Um, ah, well, sorry, I get nervous speaking aloud…”

“Sorry my question took so long to ask.”

WHAT is going on here ladies?! We need to bring our A-game if we want to take over the world. How are girls going to ‘run the world’ as Beyonce says, if we start all our questions off with apologies and disclaimers?

STEP 1: Read my post on How to Ask a Question.

STEP 2: Create awareness by counting the number of times you apologize before or after you’ve asked a question. Once you see how often this happens….you’ll stop apologizing.

STEP 3: Consciously stop apologizing, even if you’re catching yourself mid-word. You must stop apologizing. Start catching other women doing this, we must help each other out and awareness is the key.

STEP 4: Start from a place of YES, not maybe. Yes sounds confident, yes sounds like you know what you’re talking about. Nobody takes direction from “maybe” people. Apologies are maybe people.

Now that you’re aware of this, you’ll see it EVERYWHERE. You’ll hear women do this all the time, but now that you know what the problem is, you can start fixing it.

My students email me all the time with stories of how often they catch other women (friends, family and strangers) start off a question with an apology, and how they are interrupting this dialogue by creating awareness.

Watch Amy Schumer’s brilliant skit “I’m sorry” from S3E4:



You Might Also Like

Comments (2)

  • Great comment! Thanks! –The apology-question trend is annoying. And you’re right, by apologizing 1st, women doubt themselves while simultaneously doubting the person they’re asking the question to. Most women do this automatically and subconsciously. Amy Schumer is absolutely brilliant….and so on target. You can watch “Inside Amy Schumer” for free on http://www.thecomedynetwork.ca

  • Ahhh!! I’m so happy you showed that skit by Schumer. I had PVR’d it and watched it last night, afterwards I was thinking Maja would love this! Women really do apologize too much, Schumer did a great job of making it look annoying and ridiculous–which is what it is, truthfully. Without fail, every single female student who comes into the office to ask me a question–she start’s off with “I’m sorry if this isn’t the right place, maybe you don’t know this, but can I ask you something?” –not only are they doubting themselves, but they doubt my ability to help them!! So frustrating. I find some male students do this too, but more often than not, they simply barge in demanding for help–and I actually prefer this as they get straight to the point. Women don’t realize that as they strive to appear in deference, they simultaneously waste everyone else’s time–and, logically, which is worse?

Leave a Reply