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Women Hating on Women – This Needs to Stop

Stop trying to tear down other women. Stop complaining about other women and how they dress, sound, look or act.

As women we’re bombarded with obstacles and barriers to our success (our gender; sexuality; race/ethnicity; visible minority status; ESL; social class), we do not need more barriers.

There are SO many external barriers women face, we cannot have infighting. We must support each other. We must recognize that one woman’s success does not diminish our capabilities for success, it strengthens it.

Stop looking at other women as your direct competition and start acting like a coalition.

By diminishing another women’s success or accomplishments, we’re diminishing all women and the greater cause: more female leaders; more female bosses; more women in control; more women in politics; more women in parliament; more women in finance; more women in positions of power and authority.

I recently had tea with a new colleague and told her about the “ALL IN” message and how as women we need to help each other out. I encouraged her to reach for a new job just outside her comfort zone. I sent her job postings when I came across something that suited her. Her response told me all I needed to know. She cried. If someone in your industry (especially another woman) is showing you kindness, support and encouragement, it shouldn’t be such a rare occurrence that it causes you to become emotional. That was a sad moment for me.  I don’t want to be the 1st woman to help her out, I should be the 20th, 30th, 50th woman helping her out, because we should all be looking out for one another.

Can women be sexist against each other? Absolutely. There’s a very real difference in the way women speak about Donald Trump and his drive for financial success and Kris Jenner or Martha Stewart or Bethenny Frankel for instance. As women, we can internalize these gendered cultural ideas of what women should want in life and how they should go about achieving it.

We like women who are successful….just not too successful, right? WRONG. This must stop.


  1. instead of trying to take down another woman, look for opportunities to praise her accomplishments and use it as a networking opportunity.
  2. Become part of a social club or group where you’ll interact with other like-minded women and then support the hell out of each other.
  3. Disengage from the negative talk (that will be another post)—don’t bad-mouth other women. Walk away from the conversation, change the topic. Rise above the gossip. We’re better than that.

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  • I totally agree!! One of my favorite things I’ve read recently – “You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones that you see building each other up, instead of tearing each other down.”

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