Why are SO many women obsessed with being “nice”? Why are we acting grateful when we should be acting confident? Because we’re PEOPLE PLEASERS!!!
Why are we so timid, passive and fearful of interrupting or offending, when we should be putting ourselves and our ideas out there for everyone to hear?
Listen Ladies, winning Miss. Congeniality will get you NOWHERE. Oh wait; actually it will make you a people pleaser, a door mat, average, ordinary, mediocre, and completely forgettable.
Is that what you want?
Today I saw a woman receive the wrong order at Starbucks and instead of returning it, she said she “didn’t want to seem rude.” A colleague of mine last week accepted another project at work even though she had no time, simply because she doesn’t know when and how to say “no, I can’t do that.”
Being nice is about being invisible, replaceable and forgettable.
Being nice will not get you greatness. (O.K. I’m not saying to be an asshole), but come ON! Being nice is insufficient for success. Being accommodating is insufficient for achieving your fullest potential.
We’ve got to break this socialization pattern that’s ingrained in us. We’ve been coached since toddlerhood to be nice, not interrupt, wait your turn, make friends and be helpful. Ugh.
Can you imagine if all you ever heard growing up was:
- How many times did you fail today? Fantastic! Tell me what you learned from your failures.
- Did you know that after a divorce women’s standard of living DECLINES by 27% while men’s increases by 10%?? In case you are divorced or widowed, how will you financially care for yourself and your family?
- Dreams don’t work unless you take MASSIVE amounts of action.
- Taking risks is really important. Try it. Start small.
- Get used to living outside your comfort zone.
- How much time are you spending working on someone else’s dreams, instead of your own?
- What gives you joy?
Can we please just stop worrying about being liked and being nice, and start working on our careers, start making more money and start living our dreams?