At any given time women vacillate between having total self-confidence and drowning in doubt and anxiety. When someone asks what you do for a living, do you keep your dreams to yourself so that you can’t get criticized for not achieving them? Did someone tell you you’ll never be a lawyer/doctor/graduate student/leader/public speaker/good at math – and now you actually believe them?
Building self-confidence doesn’t happen after reading one blog or one book or even watching an empowering TED Talk. Self-confidence (like critical thinking or writing skills) is a skill that develops with time and effort. You must practice self-confidence. You must drill self-confidence into your psyche so that it becomes part of your habitus (your intuition, values and disposition).
What’s your disposition right now? Confident? Self-doubter? People-pleaser? If you’re not a naturally confident person, you need to work on building and strengthening your confidence as diligently as you pursue your career, financial and fitness goals.
You must believe you are worthy. You must believe that your failures will not define you forever; you must believe that showcasing your vulnerability will not destroy you.
TIPS: Start small. Be willing to get outside of your comfort zone on a regular basis. The more often you choose to go ALL IN the greater the chances for success.
Confidence is a growth mind-set…you must believe you can grow your confidence. You grow it by acting on it. Stop thinking and start acting.
- Volunteer to run a meeting/lead a discussion/voice your opinion, ask a question/try something new.
- Stop RUMINATING. Stop dwelling on your mistakes and previous experiences that were failures. That’s all in the past, live in the past and you’ll never achieve your future goals.
As soon as I fail at something, I try to take 10-15 minutes to figure out what went so disastrously wrong, then I make a game plan to try again by changing things up. And then I MOVE ON. I don’t internalize my failures, I only look at them as opportunities for further growth. I don’t give them power over me.